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What is the key to parenting teens and build a strong relationship?

If you're looking to strengthen your connection with your teen, it's important to start with the basics. Understanding the key factors that contribute to a strong parent-teen relationship, including communication, trust, and respect, is a critical first step. Attachment is one of the most crucial elements of parenting a teen. By fostering a secure attachment style, you can create a foundation of trust and respect that will allow you to connect with your teen on a deeper level. Let me explain this more to you.


parenting teens

The role of parents is extremely important in shaping the overall development of their children. Beyond providing physical care, parents play a crucial role in impacting moral and social values and fostering emotional resilience. The impact of the parental role extends far beyond childhood, influencing the trajectory of a person's life and contributing to society as a whole.

That being said, how does a parent create and maintain the bridge providing trust, communication, healthy decision-making, and healthy boundaries?

My answer to this question is to establish and maintain a healthy attachment with your children. Attachment is a key factor in maintaining a strong relationship with your children. It can be described as a close emotional bond between two people, characterised by mutual affection and a desire to maintain proximity.


If you are currently going through difficulties with your teen such as conflicts, disagreements, or wanting to know how to support your teen through tough life situations or anxiety and depression, I suggest you begin your healing journey by applying the following:


It is crucial to maintain a healthy attachment as it forms the emotional bond that serves as the foundation for a child's social and psychological development.


Secure attachment provides a sense of safety and trust, allowing the child to explore the world with confidence, knowing they have a secure base to return to. This emotional connection also shapes the child's ability to regulate emotions and form healthy relationships in the future. Attachment lays the groundwork for the child's self-esteem, empathy, and capacity for forming positive connections with others throughout their life. This invisible link called attachment begins within the first few minutes after birth and continues to develop within the child and parent's life until death. It remains important for teens as they navigate the challenges of adolescence. A secure attachment established in earlier years provides a stable emotional foundation, allowing teens to develop a strong sense of identity and autonomy. It serves as a source of support during the tumultuous period of self-discovery and identity formation. A secure attachment with parents fosters open communication, encouraging teens to seek guidance and support when needed. Additionally, a secure attachment helps teens navigate the transition to independence, providing a safety net as they explore their identity and face the complexities of the wider world.

Nowadays, many parent-child relationships often lack attachment. This could be due to our society's development. Parents tend to be busier, sometimes with both parents working full time, and most parents adopting a more relaxed and permissive parenting style. I am in no way blaming parents for this, but rather attributing it more to our current system and society.

The role of parents is multifaceted, encompassing crucial aspects of setting ground rules, providing guidance, and offering comfort to their teens. While fostering a positive and supportive relationship is essential, it's equally important for parents to maintain a distinct role as authority figures rather than attempting to be their teens' friends. Finding a balance between authority and support allows parents to fulfill their role effectively, nurturing their teens' development with a blend of structure, guidance, and understanding.

When teens experience a deficiency in attachment with their parents, they may seek attachment to peers as a way to fulfill their emotional needs. Adolescents crave connection and a sense of belonging, and if these needs are not met within the family, they may turn to peers for support and understanding. Peer relationships become a crucial source of emotional connection, validation, and companionship for teens facing challenges in their primary parent-child relationship.


However, there is a problem when teens attach to peers: when teens rely on other teens for attachment, where immaturity and lack of experience prevail, many dangers and risky behaviours can occur.


Feel free to check out other articles to know the three steps to building attachment.


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